I’m not certain this painting (Painting Gurdjieff by Diane Walker) is finished. It sort of feels like it is, but I’m worried that that’s only because, with my back out, it hurts to paint, and it’s hard for the usual creativity to flow through me. So I’m just going to set it aside for now, let it be what it is. And I’ve given myself permission to do that because I think the painting is somehow a symbolic representation of this passage in Jeanne de Salzman’s book on Gurdjieff, The Reality of Being: The Fourth Way of Gurdjieff, which I read this morning:
I need to understand that by myself, without a relation with something higher, I am nothing, I can do nothing. By myself alone, I can only remain lost in this circle of interests, I have no quality that allows me to escape. I can escape only if I feel my absolute nothingness and begin to feel the need for help. I must feel the need to relate myself to something higher, to open to another quality.