Jessica Lahey, a middle-school teacher and author, writes in The Gift of Failure that we sometimes seem to be more worried about raising happy children than competent or autonomous ones. “We think, ‘I have plenty of time to teach them,’” Lahey writes. “And then they are 17.” Don’t rescue your kids, she advises. Play the long game—raising the competent kid—not the short one, attempting to fix every problem. If they own their mistakes, they are more likely to learn from them.