Cutting your shadow

Try­ing to erad­i­cate anger is like try­ing to box with our own shad­ow: it doesn’t work. Get­ting rid of it implies either express­ing it and cre­at­ing untold emo­tion­al dam­age, deny­ing its exis­tence, or repress­ing it until it erupts at a later time. Mak­ing friends with anger is essen­tial. This is grow­ing roses out of rot­ting com­post, trans­form­ing fire into con­struc­tive action, using the pas­sion but with­out the destruc­tion. We need to go beneath the anger to see what hurt, long­ing, or fear is try­ing to make itself heard. It is often a big cry for love, as we have lost our con­nect­ed­ness with each other and are try­ing to find a way to recon­nect. Or there can be feel­ings of rejec­tion, grief, or lone­li­ness. So if we repress anger or pre­tend it isn’t there then all these other feel­ings get repressed and ignored as well.

Ed and Deb Shapiro in Meditate Your Way Through Anger


Caleruega’s Cosmic Concentric Circles by Lawrence OP, on FlickrImage by Lawrence OP on flickr

Fourth way – Gurdjieff’s reputation

I have found a document about the reputation of Gurdjieff that illuminates the way he acted and behaved.

I was much more influenced and inspired by Ouspensky’s books than Gurdjieff’s. Although they were together for a few years and both maintained contact, we could say that there are two different ‘fourth way’ schools from 1923 forward. And whenever I read something about Gurdjieff, it seems to me he was two different persons. Not one.

The controversial reputation of Gurdjieff

Two sides (mindmap)

This is just yoga

When yoga teachers talked about the Universal or mythical gods and goddesses, it made me a little uncomfortable because it started to sound a little too “spiritual.” This part’s not for me, I thought. Yet I could feel myself drawn to classes with an emphasis on philosophy more than hot yoga classes.

Monique Minahan


life is beautiful by linh.ngan, on FlickrImage by linh.ngan on flickr

The second identity

First, it may be rea­son­able to assume that the tran­sient and fleet­ing occa­sions of joy and mean­ing (read: feel­ings of the sub­lime) that we par­ents derive from our chil­dren are not ade­quate­ly cap­tured by the mea­sures of hap­pi­ness and pos­i­tive emo­tions that researchers typ­i­cal­ly use. In the words of one arti­cle on the topic, the “one minute when your child comes run­ning to greet you with a smile and a hug may be worth a hun­dred min­utes of clean­ing up after them.” In other words, because hap­pi­ness is not mere­ly the sum of pos­i­tive expe­ri­ences, evi­dence sug­gest­ing that car­ing for a child is just slight­ly more enjoy­able than com­mut­ing and vac­u­um­ing does not nec­es­sar­i­ly mean that par­ents are not hap­pi­er than non-parents in a more pro­found, deep­er, more sub­stan­tial way. For exam­ple, it’s pos­si­ble that although par­ent­ing may not make peo­ple “happy” in a hedo­nic sense, it may pro­mote a sense of mean­ing and pur­pose that may be just as sig­nif­i­cant to hap­pi­ness as are fleet­ing pos­i­tive moods. The fact that the loss of a child is con­sid­ered in almost all cul­tures to be the worst tragedy that can befall an indi­vid­ual lends fur­ther sup­port to the notion that researchers’ mea­sures that only ask peo­ple how “sat­is­fied” they are and how often they expe­ri­ence joy, inter­est, and enthu­si­asm are some­how fail­ing to tap cer­tain essen­tial ele­ments of a happy life and a “good” life. Sec­ond, besides fos­ter­ing greater mean­ing in life – and per­haps a more intense­ly – felt sense of mean­ing – hav­ing chil­dren can also pro­vide us with many other valu­able and impor­tant resources that con­tribute to our hap­pi­ness and a life well-lived. How­ev­er, such things can be dif­fi­cult to assess with stan­dard mea­sures of well-being. For exam­ple, chil­dren bestow us par­ents with a lega­cy – that is, a con­tri­bu­tion to soci­ety that will per­sist beyond our own life­times. Becom­ing a par­ent is also close­ly tied to our iden­ti­ties. Indeed, most peo­ple across cul­tures expect, desire, and actu­al­ly do have chil­dren. Regard­less of how much hap­pi­ness is actu­al­ly derived from chil­dren, being a par­ent is strong­ly aligned with most cul­tures’ pre­scribed goals and dreams for us – the goals and dreams that most (though not all) of us envi­sion for our lives. More­over, the expe­ri­ence of rais­ing chil­dren con­tributes to the story that we tell about our lives. Life sto­ries rarely are sim­ply about recount­ing one plea­sure after anoth­er; instead, peo­ple typ­i­cal­ly incor­po­rate both their ordeals and tri­umphs into their “life narratives.” As such, life sto­ries that involve chil­dren can add to our pur­pose in life and cul­ti­vate a sense of flour­ish­ing and ful­fill­ment.

Sonja Lyubomirsky


cape breton highlands bog #3 by undergroundbastard, on FlickrImage by undergroundbastard on flickr

Translating

The problems of language here are really serious. We wish to speak in some way about the structure of the atoms. But we cannot speak about atoms in ordinary language.

Werner Heisenberg


Sajjada by qthomasbower, on FlickrImage by qthomasbower on flickr

Time to recover

Time is one ele­ment of addic­tion recov­ery that is dif­fi­cult to under­stand. Time is required to train the brain, under­stand the addic­tion trig­gers and set goals for mov­ing into recov­ery and life­long suc­cess. Peo­ple that don’t give them­selves the time to change their mind­set about them­selves and their behav­ior are much less like­ly to have a suc­cess­ful path on their route to sobri­ety and pos­i­tive behav­ioral changes. Self-Love and Time on the Path to Addiction Recovery

Sherry Gaba


gone  missing by josef.stuefer, on FlickrImage by josef.stuefer