Meanwhile, I walk by the ocean and watch the waves roll in, exactly as they have done for millions of years. Unperturbed by our human loves and frailty, our strengths and pain.
Meimei Fox in A Meditation on Impermanence.
Trying to eradicate anger is like trying to box with our own shadow: it doesn’t work. Getting rid of it implies either expressing it and creating untold emotional damage, denying its existence, or repressing it until it erupts at a later time. Making friends with anger is essential. This is growing roses out of rotting compost, transforming fire into constructive action, using the passion but without the destruction. We need to go beneath the anger to see what hurt, longing, or fear is trying to make itself heard. It is often a big cry for love, as we have lost our connectedness with each other and are trying to find a way to reconnect. Or there can be feelings of rejection, grief, or loneliness. So if we repress anger or pretend it isn’t there then all these other feelings get repressed and ignored as well.
Ed and Deb Shapiro in Meditate Your Way Through Anger
I realized I don’t have to believe my thoughts.
I have found a document about the reputation of Gurdjieff that illuminates the way he acted and behaved.
I was much more influenced and inspired by Ouspensky’s books than Gurdjieff’s. Although they were together for a few years and both maintained contact, we could say that there are two different ‘fourth way’ schools from 1923 forward. And whenever I read something about Gurdjieff, it seems to me he was two different persons. Not one.
When yoga teachers talked about the Universal or mythical gods and goddesses, it made me a little uncomfortable because it started to sound a little too “spiritual.” This part’s not for me, I thought. Yet I could feel myself drawn to classes with an emphasis on philosophy more than hot yoga classes.
First, it may be reasonable to assume that the transient and fleeting occasions of joy and meaning (read: feelings of the sublime) that we parents derive from our children are not adequately captured by the measures of happiness and positive emotions that researchers typically use. In the words of one article on the topic, the “one minute when your child comes running to greet you with a smile and a hug may be worth a hundred minutes of cleaning up after them.” In other words, because happiness is not merely the sum of positive experiences, evidence suggesting that caring for a child is just slightly more enjoyable than commuting and vacuuming does not necessarily mean that parents are not happier than non-parents in a more profound, deeper, more substantial way. For example, it’s possible that although parenting may not make people “happy” in a hedonic sense, it may promote a sense of meaning and purpose that may be just as significant to happiness as are fleeting positive moods. The fact that the loss of a child is considered in almost all cultures to be the worst tragedy that can befall an individual lends further support to the notion that researchers’ measures that only ask people how “satisfied” they are and how often they experience joy, interest, and enthusiasm are somehow failing to tap certain essential elements of a happy life and a “good” life. Second, besides fostering greater meaning in life – and perhaps a more intensely – felt sense of meaning – having children can also provide us with many other valuable and important resources that contribute to our happiness and a life well-lived. However, such things can be difficult to assess with standard measures of well-being. For example, children bestow us parents with a legacy – that is, a contribution to society that will persist beyond our own lifetimes. Becoming a parent is also closely tied to our identities. Indeed, most people across cultures expect, desire, and actually do have children. Regardless of how much happiness is actually derived from children, being a parent is strongly aligned with most cultures’ prescribed goals and dreams for us – the goals and dreams that most (though not all) of us envision for our lives. Moreover, the experience of raising children contributes to the story that we tell about our lives. Life stories rarely are simply about recounting one pleasure after another; instead, people typically incorporate both their ordeals and triumphs into their “life narratives.” As such, life stories that involve children can add to our purpose in life and cultivate a sense of flourishing and fulfillment.
Time is one element of addiction recovery that is difficult to understand. Time is required to train the brain, understand the addiction triggers and set goals for moving into recovery and lifelong success. People that don’t give themselves the time to change their mindset about themselves and their behavior are much less likely to have a successful path on their route to sobriety and positive behavioral changes. Self-Love and Time on the Path to Addiction Recovery