It’s when we think we have no reason left to love, and sometimes when we question our very existence, that we have to allow ourselves to find and create a whole new beauty from what may have felt like (and maybe was) an end.
Ged talked me through the difference between TM and mindfulness. Where mindfulness practises overt observation, he said, TM is all about letting go. You sit in silence for 20 minutes, and your mind naturally begins to quieten down. You repeat a mantra – a meaningless sound you’re not allowed to tell anyone – and eventually, if you’re doing it right, you reach a point of expansive silence, and your body floods with a warm and pleasant feeling.
I thought I could make my inner turmoils stop by fixing my outside world. I used to think, “If only this situation or that situation would change, I would be at peace inside.” What I didn’t realise was that I needed to do something to change the way I behaved inside.
I didn’t really understand the concept of self-change, and I ended up focusing on fixing my external self – i.e. how I appeared on the outside. My inner world was a mess, and the more I tried to fix myself, the more tangled up I became.
Wherever you turn your eyes,
the world can shine like transfiguration.
You don’t have to bring a thing to it
except a little willingness to see.
Marilynne Robinson in Gilead via Contemplative Photography | Transfiguration