Adding-up

My teachers had been advocating right speech for years, but I just couldn’t get into it. You know, you might try to be a better person, but until you actually understand how you’re hurting people, it’s very hard to practice the precepts. I still remember the incident that finally made me consider right speech in a new light.

Darlene Cohen | Lion’s Roar


Why do we cheat? And why do happy people cheat? And when we say “infidelity,” what exactly do we mean? Is it a hookup, a love story, paid sex, a chat room, a massage with a happy ending? Why do we think that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy, but women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy? And is an affair always the end of a relationship?

Esther Perel | Ted


Pride is a silent and sneaky relationship killer. It takes a lot of courage and grace to put your ego aside and choose compassion and understanding over the need to be right. Fighting fair and resolving conflict in a peaceful manner is imperative.

Maddison Sonner | Wisdom Pills


The modern world can’t be explained by routine brick piling, such as the Indian Ocean trade, English banking, canals, the British savings rate, the Atlantic slave trade, the enclosure movement, the exploitation of workers in satanic mills, or the original accumulation of capital in European cities.

Deirdre Nansen McCloskey | reason.com


I just think letting go of all thought, for some more truthful way of living is missing the point. We are meant to be individuals who identify with their thoughts for a reason, it’s just if your attached to them and have negative and harmful thoughts you may harm yourself and others. It’s a process of change but not into a blank state, hence why the chinese incorporated emotions and experience back into meditation more. A stone buddha already exists as a stone, why should people want to be stones?

Dreago12e | reddit.ccom


The less there was of me, the happier I got.

Leonard Cohen | Lion’s Roar


People who write the algorithms, Barocas adds, “want to humanize things, and to interpret things in ways that are in line with how we think and reason. But we need to be prepared to accept that computers, even though they’re performing tasks that we perform, are performing them in ways that are very different.

David Benberry | Nautilus.us


Have Mindfulness Bells. You could have a chime regularly sound off on your phone or computer (numerous apps do this) to remind you to pause and be mindful of what’s going on right now. I’ve also found it useful to see other things as mindfulness bells: seeing my child’s face, a traffic light, hearing an alert from an appliance or the computer. Each of these can be a reminder to be present when I notice them.

Leo Babauta | Zenhabits.net


You are your placebo


You are your IP address


Not unhappy

The problem with depression—the thing that makes it so hard to describe, and gives its sufferers a bad conscience—is its resemblance to unhappiness. Unhappiness is part of every life, and most people learn how to cope with it: by changing the conditions that cause it, or by distracting themselves, or by actively repressing it. A person who can’t deal with being unhappy is seen as a moral failure—childish, selfish, “difficult.” It is all too easy to apply the same judgment to a depressed person, as if depression just meant luxuriating in unhappiness. David Foster Wallace wrote a brilliant story, “The Depressed Person,” in which a woman worries that by describing her suffering she will only disgust her friends and even her therapist—a worry which itself feeds into her suffering.

But depression is actually the opposite of unhappiness, because it is precisely not “a part of life.” When you are unhappy, life is pressing you, hurting you, and you are forced to respond to it. An unhappy life is a problem, and to be absorbed in a problem is to be absorbed in existence. When you are depressed, on the other hand, there is no problem, because there is nothing to be solved. Existence itself seems to retreat, to leave you stranded, without purchase on things, people, yourself. In her new memoir…

Adam Kirsh | Daphne Merkin Pens a Depression Classic – Tablet Magazine

Memory

These days, Miller is taking on another piece of dogma — that neurons primarily communicate by electrical spikes. In recent papers, Miller argues that there’s still a lot to learn from the intermittent electrical currents called oscillations, or brain waves.  

When we hold an item in working memory, these oscillations move through brain circuits in waves that rise and fall scores of times. These oscillations, he argues, are how the prefrontal cortex — that mental “switch operator” — stores several items on the cusp of our awareness in working memory, so we can pull them into our conscious minds as needed.

Adam Piore

Teenager

Ajhan Sumedho 1 narrates his feelings when he met his parents. He was 55 and he felt like a teenager. Nothing strange about it, don’t you think?

We are immersed in the trials of no change, of permanence, and the same time we try to change everything. We should begin by observing , not grasping. Be yourself… unless you are with your parents. Let them be themselves. It’s cheaper than going to psychiatrist.